he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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