Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
