i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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