i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
And then he peed in my hair
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