Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
