Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
