did you get engaged???
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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