So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
