he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
