can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
