No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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