So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
