Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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