I heard we made out
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
