I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
