I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I need moral support for this bender
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
