I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
