Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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