Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
