I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
