brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
