were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
