I cut my penus on the lid.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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