he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
