If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
