What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
