I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
