so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
