Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
