the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
