I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
