On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
