he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
