I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
