the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think weed is turning my hair brown
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Randomize
