he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
