Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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