so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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