at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
