I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i now understand why vodka
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
