oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
