writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
