One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
