as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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