I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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