My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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