sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
