And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
