Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
