Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
