Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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