i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
