I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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