cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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